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Monday, May 11, 2015

Motherhood '15

                         
I didn't expect to love you guys so much. Honest. I knew I'd love you...of course I knew that. Mothers love their children. It's a given. Forever. No matter what. However, the love I feel as a Mom some days takes even me by surprise at times. The depth. The level of love that wants to explode from my chest just by looking at you in certain moments. You do or say something so cute or intelligent. You simply smile. The way you chat with us. It blows my mind. Yesterday was Mother's Day. Aiden is 5. Piper is 8 months old. I've been a Mom for almost 6 years!!! SIX YEARS!!!  (child's play for those with older children). However, if I just sit and think about it..it is still hard to comprehend. That I'm a Mother. That time is flying by so quickly. I've said it before, but being a Mom wasn't something that I necessarily daydreamed about when I was young (if you read back to the start of this blog you'll see what I was daydreaming about) like many young girls do. Dreaming of names, nurseries and so on. I wish I would have in many ways because what delicious day dreams they'd be. If I knew then what I knew now right? If I knew how incredible you'd be or how much fun we have as a family together. I would have sat around with a giddy smiling daydreaming about you both.
                 

              
                   
             

Some days it's hard. I can't lie. My patience gets tested. I'm tired. I'm dealing with my own "stuff" and so it's hard to just focus on you guys solely.We're all human and have daily things we deal with or struggle to get done.  And I kind of hate myself a little for writing this but motherhood does indeed change you. I can say that it has changed me in ways I never knew possible. Ways that are hard to write or describe in this moment. I detest the endless blog posts or articles telling women (those who aren't mothers yet or maybe don't want to be frankly) that they haven't lived until they have children. It's not fair. It's not for everyone. Like coffee or seared tuna. Sometimes you get what you didn't know you wanted and POOF...it's awesome. That's me. I didn't know I wanted it but am oh so glad that it happened. I'm a proud member of the Mom's Club. Now I get to indulge in those daydreams but I picture you older (20's) and us sitting around laughing with a bottle of wine. I see you both with 'someone' and us loving that person like family (like our in-laws love us). I cant wait. I don't want to rush either though. I've learned to savor those sweet moments. When you call me "Mommy" and hug me for no reason I realize that may not last forever. When I walk in and see that little baby face looking up at me with a smile. Always happy to see me.  I hope we do a good job. I hope you learn what it means to be authentic and yourself. That you are reading this and are happy and doing your thing. If you're not. If you don't know what your 'thing' is yet..then just know it's NEVER too late to find what it is that makes you soar. No matter what though...thank you. Thank you for making me a Mom.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Spring Pictures


Let's all give a hand for that wonderous season called Spring!  We were up in Illinois last week for Easter and I forgot how glorious those first signs of spring are up in the Midwest. The grass is a bright and fresh shade of green, everything smells new and is coming to life again. It was so great to spend some real time back home with family and friends.

I feel like I didn't get told about a special secret. The Mini Session! Whoever came up with that concept is a genius.  Holy Heck. I wish I had known about them when Aiden was little because he'd have many more portraits from his baby days.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Forever Young


There are songs that you've heard a million times. You always turn the music up when you hear it, give it a thumbs up on Pandora, buy it on Itunes right away. But despite hearing the song hundreds of times you never really took pause to the lyrics. I miss buying cassette tapes and being able to memorize the words to each song. That was my favorite part. Such is "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan. I've been listening to his music a lot lately while I'm working or as background noise when I read at night. His voice is so calming. The music is soothing. I think back to his 'day' and understand what the fuss was about you know? 


These lyrics are everything I want for my children. For myself. My partner. Simple and honest. I heard a cover of it by Joan Baez earlier and was just wowed by the melody. Truth be told my favorite tunes are typically those that were written many moons ago. Bob Marley (obsessed is not going to cover that one. I got the Vinyl of his greatest hits and listen to it daily..many times). Dolly Parton (that woman and her writing will always enrapture me. the "Trio" album will always be one of my absolute favorites). The Beach Boys (a childhood favorite that always puts me in a great mood and makes me long for Manhattan Beach again). The Mama's & The Papa's (Monday, Monday, California Dreamin, and Dream a Little Dream are everything). My parents listened to this music when I was growing up which I'm sure has everything to do with why I love it so much. Will Aiden and Piper love it one day? Aiden jams with me to Bob Marley so I have high hopes. 

Sorry. Back to "Forever Young". If you watched "Parenthood" then you heard a snippet at the start of every show (By the way I am so sad that show is gone...I loved it) but I urge you to download this song, dust off that CD you have somewhere and take a listen. If someone asked me to say all the things I want for my littles in life...here it is...

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young

Monday, March 30, 2015

Daydreamer'

The daydream is the same one lately. I'm standing in my Grandmother's kitchen washing dishes. I'm using the same thin dishcloths  that she has had for years. They smell of Dawn and fresh air. Only it isn't my Grandmother's house..not really. I'm living there. The window looking out into the front yard is much larger. I can see far to the left and right...all the way down to where my Granny's house used to sit. The d├ęcor is my style. I have a large farmhouse sink. The once wooden walls are now white washed.  I have open shelves where cabinets used to dawn the walls. They are perfectly curated with white dishes and a few aqua ones for pops of color. It's all different and yet it smells the same as it had for years. The scent of Alabama, peas and dumplings cooking.

There is no background noise other than my Crosley playing my Etta James record. The laughter of the children from the front yard echos. They are running around the large pecan tree near the driveway, the same spot I used to dig. Making mud pies. The same place that once a large snake fell and my father killed it with a hoe. It's peaceful. There is no traffic. No sirens. Just peaceful. Chad is out back tending to the cattle and checking on our flourishing garden that will produce tons of delicious tomatoes and watermelon in the summer (clearly a daydream as we have yet to grow a fruitful garden...always hope though).

This daydream comes to me more and more as we live in such a busy world. Have a busy life. Self inflicted often yes...but busy. There is always some place to be, and to get there we must battle through traffic. Not city traffic, because we don't technically live in the city. That is even worst. I'd rather be in the thick of Chicago traffic than this suburban hellish traffic. In my daydream I don't have to worry about my kids playing outside and getting hit by cars, or approached by strangers. In this dream I have no worries. I guess part of me is longing for this simplistic scenario. Growing up I remember spending hours outside riding bikes and digging in dirt and yet these days I rarely see this sight. It makes me sad. Makes me wonder if my kids are going to have those delicious childhood memories like I do of just using my imagination.  I fear that they'll get caught up in the technology/game playing world. I know it's my job to not let that happen of course. I wish for them a life of contenement, of not 'wanting', of being happy with what they have and yet this world we live in now it doesn't seem likely. I hope they don't get caught up in the "keeping up with the Jones" mentality like I have so many times. Precious time has been wasted wishing I had more than I have now or something that someone else has. I realize now that what I have is magnificent. That you take with you your relationships, your love for those around you. If all of that were to disappear (the things); the legos, the fancy bar carts, the clothes, I'd be left with insurmountable love and that would be enough. Simply enough.

I want enough to be what we seek. My daydream teaches me what I long for in my life and the life of my family.  I hope they read this one day. Maybe come back and read this when they find themselves getting caught up in the "want" game. It's a struggle for me still. I want life to revolve around us spending time together. To not give a second thought to what someone else has I wish my house looked like that. I need that, etc..)To instead go outside and just enjoy the beauty around us. The smell of spring. The trees in the Fall. The majestic snow. I do want. I crave something that is out there. Space. Fields of green grass. Mountain tops. Beaches. Nature. And my family. Everything else that seemed so important will just wash away.....

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Growth



I must have written three versions of my "New Years Post" before settling on this one. Short. Sweet. Simple. I was getting too in depth. Too complicated.

Because sometimes it's not all that complicated. Sometimes you resolve to keep doing what you're doing. Naturally, I have a small post-baby bucket list of things to accomplish such as shed the baby weight, get in shape, yada yada...but for 2015 I want to focus on "Growth".

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Christmas Family Photos!!


Well, just as soon as it came it went! Christmas is behind us until next year. Does anyone else like the build up to Christmas as much (if not sometimes more) than the day itself?  Hmmm...thought for a different time.  For us, it was a special year though because it was the first time we were in our home on Christmas morning and this year we had Piper! Typically we are traveling to see our families for the Holidays. While we love those traditions it was kind of nice to wake up at home this once. Christmas Eve Aiden participated in a Children's Nativity service that was so sweet and special. The next day it was early to rise. Lots of gifts. Lots of playing. Movies. Cooking. Music. Crackling fire. It was splendid. The following day we got to spend some time in Alabama with my parents, grandparents and other family members. It was really perfect. I hope you all had a great Christmas as well. I, for one, have gone from Christmas to focusing on going to the beach. Just like that I tell you. I'm obsessed now. I have three seasons. Cabins/Fall; Christmas; Beach. That's just how I roll.

A few weeks ago we took advantage of a mini-session for family photos. I just couldn't get it together to do anything more than that time wise but knew I at least had to send out Christmas cards seeing as I couldn't pull together a birth announcement for Piper. Such is life right? It was a quick 10 minute session and that was just perfect for our attention spans around here lately. Thank you Ashley Mushegan for capturing my favorite picture of Aiden & Piper so far! Here are some of my favorites!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

#TBT Tree Farm Fun!

This time last year one of my oldest college friends, Mandy Kellogg Rye (known to others as Waiting on Martha) asked us to be a part of this shoot for a Hot Cocoa Party! I feel so lucky because it quite possibly delivered some of my most favorite pictures of Aiden ever. I will treasure those photos for a lifetime because they captured the pure sweetness in his face and his happy disposition! That "baby face" is fading so to be able to look back and enjoy it is a Mommy blessing!

I was reminded of this shoot (who am I kidding these pictures are everywhere in my home) by Occasions magazine as it made the Weekend Reads section and there that face was staring back at me (insert tear). Thanks again Mandy and Rustic White Photography for capturing my sweet boy! Let's get real, I'll throw back to this every year. Lol! Wouldn't you?   Enjoy.