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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Let Her Fly...

My heart is heavy today. I mentioned in an earlier  post that the anniversary of my Mama passing away was near. Today is that day. It has been one year since my Mama (Ma-Maw), Corine, passed away. A year ago I was living in what I can only describe as new Mommy fog. Tired. Blurry. It all seemed to not really be happening. 

Piper was so tiny...a mere 4 weeks old at that time. I know this day is going to be extra hard for Mom and her sisters and of course for my Papa. I'm going to try and stay positive today. I'm going to fire up my computer, do some work, listen to Dolly and make some Mama peas. 

Every time I hear this song I think of her. I love how songs can give you comfort like a big warm hug. We love her. We miss her. But she had a wonderful and long life.

"Let Her Fly"

There's a wreath on the door
She don't live here no more
As of today, she flew home
And we all gathered here
In sorrow and tears
It won't be the same with her gone
There's a place on the hill
That's peaceful and still
Where she'll sleep beside daddy again
The ole' family tree is shedding it's leaves
But we'll all met in heaven again

Oh, she's an angel
Let her fly, let her fly
She's gone home to glory
To her home in the sky
When God sees her comin'
Heaven's choir will smile
And sing, "oh she's an angel, let her fly, let her fly
Ooh, she's an angel, let her fly"
She used to rock me when I was a child
Sing "rock of ages" and "in the sweet bye and bye"
Her life wasn't easy, oh but how hard she tried
You know she's an angel, lord, so let her fly

Let her fly
Ooh she's an angel, let her fly

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Labor Day Recap

Labor Day is officially behind us and I must join the outpouring of people who are just ready for Fall! I love Summer. I do. But Fall is my jam. It's when I just feel so alive and excited for just about everything...

It's not just me..Aiden is absolutely over the moon for Halloween. In fact, he told us this weekend he likes Halloween MORE than Christmas! We'll see if that sticks come November. He was already busy making masks, decorations for the house and even drew a map of the yard with plans for decorations. Things are getting serious.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Puttin' Up; a story of love in a mason jar


For as long as I can remember, we have left Mama and Papa's house (that's Ma-maw and Pa-paw for those who spell it correctly) with mason jars and freezer bags of things they have put up that year; fig preserves, pears,sweet pickles, pink lady peas, black eyed peas, butter beans, pecans and peanuts (oh the peanuts..).

A few weeks ago after a visit, I came home with figs, a bag of pecans that Papa had already shelled, and peas. My freezer and pantry were stocked and everyone is happy when Momma says on a Sunday we'll be having "Mama and Papa" Peas for dinner or Figs wrapped in prosciutto with goat cheese(okay...so the adults are happy about that one but have you tried it? Game changer.)

Thursday, August 27, 2015

The Happiness Crisis

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” ~Brother David Steindl-Rast
Photo courtesy of Tiny Buddah

In the past month I have read at least three books with a similar message...about living abundantly where you are, savoring small moments, finding pockets of time for yourself to enjoy the small things in life. Really great reads. Really uplifting. In that time, I have also had countless conversations with friends about similar topics as well as came across a few blog posts and many podcasts speaking the same message. This conversation is literally everywhere I turn. Coincidence? Uh, I don't think so.

Certainly if I am reading/hearing so much of this need and desire to seek happiness in the tiny moments and to just plain enjoy the life that is happening right in front of us that this is some sort of real problem with folks. A Pain Point. It feels like a Happiness Crisis... a problem that people are struggling with day to day. Why are we seeking these small moments and trying to learn to really appreciate what we have and where we are in life when we should be doing that without even thinking about it? What can I do to make sure this is no longer a struggle for me but just the way I live?

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

All good things are wild & free...

As the teacher handed out the tambourines and egg shakers I watched her eyes light up with excitement. We had our first day of music class together and it was everything I hoped it would be. As I sat there shaking the eggs and singing Old MacDonald I flash backed to attending a similar class with Aiden when we lived in Chicago. I loved that time that we had together. I loved watching him play and interact with other little ones, picking up the rhythm of the songs and tapping along. He still loves music and I believe that those classes helped build what will hopefully be a lifetime of appreciation.

I'm so grateful to have the chance to do this with Piper as well. She will be one tomorrow. One year since she came into our lives and changed it forever. One year of adjusting to life with two children and navigating the ways to make sure they both feel attended to and loved no matter what. One year of many sleepless and disrupted nights as we realized she wasn't going to be quite the sleeper that her brother was at this stage. One year of recognizing the differences between the two of them but loving all of those little differences. One year of watching her interact and adore her big brother and feeling proud that he has such a loving heart of gold.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Forever Young Part 2

A few months ago, I wrote a post about how the song "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan is sort of my love letter to my children. The words perfectly sum up how I want them to live. I am drawn back to that song today. Today is my oldest son's first day of Kindergarten. Big kid school.

As we walked home from dropping him off on his first day that song popped into my head. The words filling my soul as they do each time. "May God bless you and keep you always...may your wishes all come true..." I know so many Mom's who will shed a tear or two today as they make that same walk home. For me, this day marks him becoming a big kid. That baby'ish ness is soon to fade and I know that. It hurts my heart. This day is hard for me because I know that some of his innocence will soon be lost. Soon he'll have to learn that not everyone is a 'friend'. He'll see a kid being cruel to another kid (hopefully not to him). He'll have to REALLY follow some rules. Have expectations placed upon him. Report cards. Eventually he may get his feelings hurt. His heart broken. Up until this point we have been able to protect him from these things. Give him a hug. Comfort him always.

This day also is exciting. I know the fun that awaits. The life long friendships to be made. The silly games. The happiness of playing at recess. His school career will be long and I look forward to seeing what he does with it.

I do hope he stays forever young. Keeps his spunk and spirit and individuality no matter what. "May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung.." We'll be waiting at that bus stop at 2:20 every day still ready to give hugs, give comfort and hi-five!


Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Through the Woods We Ran.....

I know it's almost time. The sitter arrives. I know  I have a list a mile long to accomplish for work in a short time, but the days have felt long. I have felt needed every moment of every day. It's okay. This season of Motherhood is temporary. I know that. Filled with magical little moments but also tiring to those in charge of small mouths. Seeking peace only for a few moments I know will fill me up. The coffee shop and my computer can wait...even 30 minutes. I run to you. Entering your cavernous shelter of greenery I almost immediately relax. You provide a slight relief from this sweltering Southern heat.

I've never been able to run in my life. Not 'really' run. I don't do 5k's. I don't buy special shoes or clothes for running. I have no desire to have those marathon stickers on my car. I could rarely run a mile without numerous stops. Not around tracks. Not on pavement. I hate running on pavement. Yet when I enter your magical forest my legs move swiftly. As if they want to run. They need to.  My mind clears. I'm present. I run. I breathe in the pine and exhale all of that tension I was feeling just moments ago. Do your lush tree tops just fill my lungs with the extra oxygen I have needed? Is that how and why I do it?

Am I running from something? Towards something? Simply clearing the noise and mess in my head? It doesn't even matter. It's a brief but magical escape from the duties of the day. It's not about the running. Yes. The sweat feels good. I love feeling like I've accomplished something and am doing something good for my body. Knocking out a mile, two miles in a brief time feels like I'm making the best use of my day.

If I were told I had to move away from here tomorrow I'd mourn you like losing a childhood best friend. I'd be looking back at you out the car window with longing. Your many winding trails. The easy ones I walk along with my family. The challenging ones I find on my own. The really challenging one I did with my husband one Saturday morning on a 'date'.  You have shown me so much.  You have shown me peace, grace, beauty, and that I am but a small piece of a greater puzzle. You have given me new dreams and goals. Shifted my priorities. Given me a chance to think. Taught me what things are important to me.  When you cool in the Fall we see each other more often. That is the real season of our time together. That and the Spring. The humidity dissipates and I can run even further....taking on greater challenges.

Thank for your today. For allowing me to breathe in and breathe out and reset my soul.